I asked the association's head, Kunio Kitamura, why. I buy stylish clothes and go on nice holidays. Getting back to basics, former dominatrix Ai Aoyama — Queen Love — is determined to educate her clients on the value of "skin-to-skin, heart-to-heart" intimacy. Some experts believe the flight from marriage is not merely a rejection of outdated norms and gender roles. It could be a long-term state of affairs. Another study found that a third of people under 30 had never dated at all. This was also the year, as the number of elderly people shoots up, that adult incontinence pants outsold baby nappies in Japan for the first time.
Many of the shifts there are occurring in other advanced nations, too. To the tooth-sucking horror of Japan's corporate elders, the show struck a powerful chord with the generation they spawned. I don't even like holding hands. Is Japan providing a glimpse of all our futures? There is no going back. Romantic commitment seems to represent burden and drudgery, from the exorbitant costs of buying property in Japan to the uncertain expectations of a spouse and in-laws. Or else they're opting out altogether and replacing love and sex with other urban pastimes. Her work today, she says, is far more challenging. Her end was not pretty. Although there has long been a pragmatic separation of love and sex in Japan — a country mostly free of religious morals — sex fares no better. More than a quarter of men feel the same way. Its smart phone apps are the world's most imaginative. They are recovering hikikomori "shut-ins" or recluses taking the first steps to rejoining the outside world, otaku geeks , and long-term parasaito shingurus parasite singles who have reached their mids without managing to move out of home. Does this make them bad girls? Fewer babies were born here in than any year on record. They assume I'm desperate because I'm single. Kuwahata, a fashion graduate, is in a casual relationship with a man 13 years her senior. Aoyama says the sexes, especially in Japan's giant cities, are "spiralling away from each other". Japan's unders won't go forth and multiply out of duty, as postwar generations did. It's not an option for women like me. Her first name means "love" in Japanese, and is a keepsake from her earlier days as a professional dominatrix. Yet conservative attitudes in the home and workplace persist. Nor is growing preoccupation with digital technology. Amid the recession and unsteady wages, men like Kishino feel that the pressure on them to be breadwinning economic warriors for a wife and family is unrealistic. Eric Rechsteiner Ai Aoyama is a sex and relationship counsellor who works out of her narrow three-storey home on a Tokyo back street.
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