I have been with people before who have told me about sexual encounters that made me uncomfortable; I wasn't judging them, but I did wish they had exercised a little more discretion. You better believe I wouldn't ask my husband if he's attracted to them, because nothing good lies down that road. I think it's more that you notice there's a callousness to her behavior-- it's not about sleeping with these people, it's about the moral implications of sleeping with a married man for no reason other than he kept asking, or what it means to have casual sex with someone you have neither a physical or emotional attraction to at all. I don't think you're being overly sensitive. I think the takeaway is this situation sucks a tiny bit, but you love each other enough to deal with it. There are lots of questions you shouldn't ask if you don't want to hear the answer.
She will never stop saying things that make you feel bad. I'd just be disappointed that she thinks being with me means giving up greasy cheeseburgers forever. If she actively makes an effort to stop? Let's try something new and fun that might open up new categories of excitement. You can ask her to stop being honest with you. Either way, unless the positives outweigh the negatives by a huge order of magnitude, I'd suggest asking yourself why you're putting up with this. He'd assure me he wouldn't but I never truly felt loved by him. I know he loves me and even when I feel a twinge of jealousy, it's never there long. There's no way to compete with that, no matter how many croissants you bake. As for slut shaming, I don't feel that's your problem with her statements. Some thoughts looms disproportionately when voiced to other people, and these are those types of thoughts. I had a choice to make, to leave or to expect to hear this stuff in the future. Frankly I don't agonize over being the best of everything to anyone. If anyone has any advice for how to get over it it would be much appreciated as I really do love this girl and I love being with her. I'm really sad about this as I really do love her and hate the idea of not being with her, but I also don't like the idea of these things and potentially more things like it bringing me down for the rest of my life. I think you two need a six month moratorium on talking about sex, attractiveness, and whatever other topics lead to these kinds of statements. The same way someone may feel that the best croissant they ever had was in Paris, even if it may not have won in a side-by-side taste test. Make that your own job. Comparatively, I had an ex who dropped comments like these about his past; and I was a mess. But it is also damaging to a relationship-- it really messed up my sense of security, self worth and self esteem. I mean, imagine walking out of a movie theater having just seen a fantastic movie--if you said it was the best ever, I'd doubt that as hyperbole or as a recency effect, and if you said it wasn't as great as your favorite film, I'd doubt that too, because our "favorites" are covered in nostalgia and personal symbolism. You are allowed to feel the way you feel. You need to decide what's right for you. If they're already doing this at the honeymoon stage, where people are allegedly showing the best aspect of themselves, then what happens after another year or two, when you've actually got real shit on the table? It wouldn't bother me that my GF has had mind-blowing sex with someone else in the past, and not quite there yet with me.
Video about the best sex she ever had:
Friends - Chandler kisses Monica, Rachel, Phoebe - All the Kissing
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