Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger. So he roundhouse kicked a loaf of bread into slices. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. Chuck Norris crossed the road. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on. Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle — you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face. He walks through them. Chuck Norris can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part. Chuck norris doesnt go at the speed of light, he goes at the speed of Norris Chuck Norris does not know about this website. Lou Gehrig got off easy. It also relies on season-spanning Chekhov's Guns. Chuck Norris can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. All roads lead to Chuck Norris. For most people, home is where the heart is. It goes even further in season 4 and 5, when not only was the Intersect used to completely change Hartley's personality to create Volkoff, but the revelation that the Intersect was designed to implant abilities as a teaching tool. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. The one in the middle is believed to have killed the others with a single roundhouse kick to the face. Stan Lee and Bo Derek are spies. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Last weekend, he maxed them out. This was just to prove that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away. As such, Chuck Norris is also responsible for the eradication of smallpox. He lampshades this at the beginning of "Chuck Versus the First Date", when, upon being asked why he didn't stay in the car, he shouts "You know what?
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