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They had an unhostile sense of humor -- preferring to joke at their own expense, or at the human condition, and never directing their humor at others. It is all about money. If you are the wife of a Borderline or Narcissist, and you've finally decided to leave after trying for years to make your marriage work , he'll likely collapse into inconsolable depression. These defenses can be like 'rescue-remedy' for a damaged soul--but relief is short-lived. Don't presume he's telling you the truth about his sexual history, or health. Perhaps you went through a war as a kid. After all, this terrific guy has chosen You to love, and share all these feelings with--aren't you the lucky one? Borderline mothers may try to mold their sons into somebody who's very different from the man they've married, which has far reaching repercussions for a boy's self-esteem. You can even go together! When we'd finally get close to a breakthrough, he'd kitchen-sink me re-referencing former issues that had already been fully discussed and resolved in his effort to throw me off track, and maintain control. In fact, he calls them instinctoid -- instinct-like -- needs. All my significant, lengthy relationships have been harmonious and loving. Over one million people degraded theirselves and did it and that was just the UK, not for support just for attention and to be popular. You may be a strong, well-established, successful woman with a mind of her own, but the Borderline has an uncanny ability to whittle you down until you're second-guessing and doubting yourself. The Borderline is incapable of sustaining any type of emotion, including love. Instantly, there are all kinds of obstacles that prevent his meeting outside the confines of your safe interplay. When the bombs start falling, they look for safety. These were the right men at the right time, and we enjoyed mutual admiration and respect. A woman who's present, loving and available doesn't trigger the difficult emotions he learned as a boy, were about loving an unavailable parent. I guess the cravings that some pregnant women have, and the way in which babies eat the most foul tasting baby food, support the idea anecdotally. He may check in now and then, to test the waters and see if there's an opening or catch you in a weak moment. Casanova could be parsimonious in bed--but if he's generous, your orgasm is His--not yours. That fantastically open guy you first met keeps shutting you out, and you end up painfully longing and yearning for the way it was. When you're with a Borderline, you'll see only what you want to see about this guy--and you won't begin to wake-up until he drops you on your head, and you're drowning in so much pain and shame, you can barely breathe. He might even get sick or injure himself on a frequent basis, to elicit your care and concern--and get you off his back for expecting more out of him.
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