Instead of focusing on the end game, learn to enjoy the sensuality of sex. You need to feel close to him to be inspired to make love, and he often needs sex to feel close to you, explains Berman. At least once a week, stand in front of the mirror naked and focus on your favorite features — your toned arms, your firm butt, your gorgeous breasts. Working out is a great way to boost your sex life. If you can't head off for the weekend, go out to dinner instead. Challenge your guy to a heart-pounding activity like rock climbing or white-water rafting.
When you're relaxed and feeling good about yourself, sex will start to seem within the realm of possibility again. That's because when you tell yourself you can't have something, you want it even more. These moves will make sex hotter, happier, and just plain sexier. Make the mind-body connection. A recent study at the University of Virginia found that the leading predictor of a woman's marital happiness was the level of her husband's emotional engagement. This will help you reconnect with each other on a whole new level. Turn chores into foreplay. Touch each part and say aloud what you like about it — this will help to reinforce your feelings, says Berman. But you both deserve better. Splurge on something you'd normally never buy — like platform pumps — and wear them for a girls' night out. You need to feel close to him to be inspired to make love, and he often needs sex to feel close to you, explains Berman. It's extreme, yes, but highly effective. The same is true in the bedroom — especially if you and your partner have been together for a while and sex has become automatic. Think about those moments in your life when you feel completely in tune with your body. To reestablish the bond, do something that makes you feel good in your skin at least once a day — treat yourself to a massage, go apple picking with your kids, wear the jeans that give you an ego boost the minute you slide them on. Working out gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment, says Berman. Make the first move, says Berman. Put your hand on top of his and guide him in how you want to be touched — including how much pressure to use. And you love your partner. Weight training and Pilates, which force you to focus on your muscles and your form, are especially good for this. Instead of focusing on the end game, learn to enjoy the sensuality of sex. The next thing you know, he'll be pushing past you to wipe the counter, change the kitty litter, and unload the dishwasher. Maybe it's after you finish a long run — your blood is pumping and you're relaxed and exhilarated. The next time you're at the store or in the gym, take a look around you at all the attractive women who are a variety of shapes and sizes. How to break the stalemate? Chances are, this doesn't happen often enough. Challenge your guy to a heart-pounding activity like rock climbing or white-water rafting.
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How Good Are You at Sex?
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